REGULAR SHOW: MORDECAI & RIGBY IN 8-BIT LAND
cake! Free cake!
Nope, but we had to offer some hope to
Regular Show devotees. For if you were thinking of picking this
puppy up then our advice is, “Man, it is not cool. Put it back”.
“Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude? No OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH?!” you may implore with a
squishied-up quizzical face. No OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH.
you’re not up with Regular Show, it’s an animated series
starring 23-year-old slackers Mordecai (a blue birdie) and Rigby (a
brown raccoon). It’s as surreal as semolina pilchards and it’s
awesome. It also bulges with obvious opportunities to pluck further
awesomeness in videogame form. Somehow the obvious was missed.
Instead, we get a lazy and alarmingly short trip into old school
videogaming, via one level that’s platformy, another that’s shmuppy
and a third that’s vaguely Gauntletistical. Then a finale
where it’s all kinda smushed together. With big boss battles,
Hmm, hmm... That could actually be awesome, yeah
dude? Yeah, but it isn’t. Beyond its prerequisite for perfect pixel
placement – you’ll miss jumps by poofteenths so barfing often that
you’ll be screaming “What the ‘H’, dude?!” at your poor 3DS - little
of the rampant personality of the thing the game’s based on is
present. No voice work, no animated sequences, just vague Mordecai
and Rigby-like 2D sprites in mehly ripped-off 1980s arcade romps
interchangeable with, well, anything. It could be Flagellum &
Bobbin in 8-Bit Land and play identically.
swapping between our two couch worshippers for double jumps or crack-navigating abilities is sorta cool, plus it may just be music – you
can’t touch music, but music can touch you - and the funky chiptunes
here are maximum. Max-i-mum! Max-i-mum!
this blows. It’s a nightmare, and it reeks. Too frustrating for
kids, too lame for adults. So not fun – and it’s not about winning,
it’s about having fun...
No cake. No cake.