review
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POSTED 7/1/12


SAINTS ROW: THE THIRD

THQ
PS3 (also on Xbox 360, PC)

You know we’re never gonna survive, unless we get a little crazy – wise words indeed from a Seal who knows how to haernk.

Obviously the bods behind this third incarnation of the anti-GTA took heed as, basically, they’ve gone utterly bat-shit crazy bonkers. Hell, these fuckers make Ken Bruce look completely sane. But you likely know that already, what with all the press about superstar gangstas wielding octopus guns, people cannons and wibbly-wobbly purple dildo bats.

Arriving purpler than Prince’s undies, Saints Row: The Third is Hot Shots! to GTA’s Top Gun. A wise strategy, for it couldn’t match that other thing’s sandboxical quality, as the cavalcade of ridiculous bugs, shitty graphics and often woeful AI on display here attest. The humour, however? Sure, much of it’s pure teenage Y-chromosome, but we challenge anybody not to giggle at times despite themselves, be it a random aside whilst Lebowskiing through pedestrians, or taking down yet another creepy plushie. ‘Serious’ isn’t in the vocabulary.

“Won’t somebody think of the women?” the feminist-bots may bleat. Perhaps surprisingly, there’s less sexism here than in most any other nameable game, as the lunacy’s equal opportunity. Women or men can rule the town, or be utter vapid bimbos. The character editor even allows all physical attributes, be they generally considered genderifically male or female, to be applied to whichever sex of character you’ve decided to go forth with. Respect.

There’s no whining about lack of content, as variety flies thick ‘n’ fast. Ultimately though, fun that it can often be, SR:TT’s ambition outweighs its creators abilities, as for every inspired Tron-like excursion (ever wanted to be a dunny?) there’s a “WTF?!?!!!” death or graphical glitch that’ll have you hurling your DualShock like a hand grenade.

They shoulda made it a movie. Or played swapsies with Rockstar...

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ALL WRITTEN CONTENT COPYRIGHT © AMY FLOWER 2008-2017. GAME IMAGES COURTESY OF RESPECTIVE GAMES COMPANIES.