review
What's it all about?Tweet, tweet, tweet...Contact!Australian release dates
                 
                 
     

POSTED 22/3/15


SCREAMRIDE

Microsoft



Ever fancied being a mumblesome Canadian folk-rocker?

Nup, us either, and luckily rather than being one, Screamride lets us inflict untold grief upon them.

Yes, weíre talking crash test dummies, which you populate rollercoaster rides with. Except theyíre kinda human. Cue backstory of futuristic dystopia, a bored populous and no abating childlike fearlessness. Plus a bored GLaDOS-alike commentator.

Thereíre three game modes to play with. Theoretically, the most fun one would be careening cars about terrorising your meat puppet ballast babes and blokes, amassing screams Monsters, Inc style. But corner too fast and hello derail city. Go too slow and hey there yawny town. Time things crappily? No speed up for you!

Yep, itís less fun than it initially sounds, as itís so tiggy-touchwood whether your dupes hoon around a corner in a wondrous arc, or career wayward at an astonishing rate of knots. Naturally the latterís a total buzzkill.

Persevere though and things improve, even if using shit like brakes goes against every natural instinct. Score, advance and, well, unlock more of the same, just with more bastardly impediments.

The next modeís basically 3D Angry Birds. Aim, build momentum and let loose, intent upon Max Carnage. Hi Max!

Then thereís a precursor to bigger things, which weíll mention shortly. Youíre given an almost complete track in which you join gaps to construct a coherent ride experience. Let those guinea pigs loose and hope they donít go splot. Or hope that they do if youíre a sick prick, natch.

Those bigger things? A full-on track editor. Yep, make your own insane creations from whoa to go and back. Or just download ones that others prepared earlier if youíre indolent, or would rather use your creationary skills concocting your own game.

Screamride isnít bad, but itís nowhere as thrilling as it should be. Fuck physics and fuck reality, just make it more fun next time, mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm?

take me back to the start...

 



CLICK THIS!



CLICK THIS!



 

 

     
                 
                 
     
ALL WRITTEN CONTENT COPYRIGHT © AMY FLOWER 2008-2017. GAME IMAGES COURTESY OF RESPECTIVE GAMES COMPANIES.