fancied being a mumblesome Canadian folk-rocker?
either, and luckily rather than being one, Screamride lets
us inflict untold grief upon them.
Yes, weíre talking crash
test dummies, which you populate rollercoaster rides with. Except
theyíre kinda human. Cue backstory of futuristic dystopia, a bored
populous and no abating childlike fearlessness. Plus a bored
Thereíre three game modes to play
with. Theoretically, the most fun one would be careening cars about
terrorising your meat puppet ballast babes and blokes, amassing
screams Monsters, Inc style. But corner too fast and hello
derail city. Go too slow and hey there yawny town. Time things
crappily? No speed up for you!
Yep, itís less fun than it
initially sounds, as itís so tiggy-touchwood whether your dupes hoon
around a corner in a wondrous arc, or career wayward at an
astonishing rate of knots. Naturally the latterís a total buzzkill.
Persevere though and things improve, even if using shit like
brakes goes against every natural instinct. Score, advance and,
well, unlock more of the same, just with more bastardly impediments.
The next modeís basically 3D Angry Birds. Aim, build
momentum and let loose, intent upon Max Carnage. Hi Max!
thereís a precursor to bigger things, which weíll mention shortly.
Youíre given an almost complete track in which you join gaps to
construct a coherent ride experience. Let those guinea pigs loose
and hope they donít go splot. Or hope that they do if youíre a sick
Those bigger things? A full-on track editor.
Yep, make your own insane creations from whoa to go and back. Or
just download ones that others prepared earlier if youíre indolent,
or would rather use your creationary skills concocting your own game.
Screamride isnít bad, but itís nowhere as thrilling as
it should be. Fuck physics and fuck reality, just make it more fun
next time, mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm?