SOCOM: SPECIAL FORCES
Strewth, we reckon these drongos are tryin’ to sound Australian! Ta
to our cobbers at Sony for thinkin’ of us, but fair bite of the
pineapple donut, there’s somethin’ like 22 and a half million of us
bastards – couldn’t they find some fair dinkum Aussies? It’s a
bloody outrage it is!
So yeah, this here’s the latest SOCOM with those hoity-toity
special ops navy blokes and sheilas tactical shootin’. They’ve
pissed off to Asia to take down some deadset evil fuckin’ dictator
and stop his mob of prick-arsed mongrels from blowin’ up innocent
folks. Yeah, he’s a snag short of a barbie – ‘Osama Binliner’ or
[Editor’s note: Sony’s done some pretty full-on promo stunts for
games, but the whole raid in Pakistan thing today was fucking
Oi, piss off wanker! Anyway, you do all these missions through
cities and jungles and shit, tellin’ your troops where to go (not
“bugger off”, more “stand over there, ya big galahs”) and takin’
down those Al Kayda whackers. We reckon we knocked back some amber
fluid with Al once, but he seemed a decent bloke, so we must be
dreamin’. Hang on, it’s actually ‘Naga’. Nuh, us neither...
It can be a bit fucked but. Sometimes youse’ll be goin’ stealthier
than Kermit in a snot factory when some shit-for-brains’ll twig and
fill ya with more lead than a gobful of pencils. Other times you’ll
be clompin’ round like bandicoots in gumboots and they’ll cruise
straight bloody past ya!
Yer can do it stag, or with mates. Ya can also use that new-fangled
‘internet’ thingo, but the dodgy lurk was rooted when we tried. That
electro-donger Move doovalacky works, but’s a bugger to master.
Look, this SOCOM’s no mug, but it’s not ripper enough for the
pool room either.