SÖLDNER-X 2: FINAL PROTOTYPE
almighty Oxford dictionary defines ‘pew’ thusly: A long bench with a
back, placed in rows in the main part of some churches to seat the
What the fuck do they know?
‘pew’ like this: Noise made repeatedly while raining photon death
upon invading alien scumbag forces.
Right, now that’s sorted, if
the (rather awkward) name Söldner-X 2: Final Prototype makes a bell
go ding-a-ling-a-ling somewhere within your cranial containment area
it’s because it’s been on PS3 for yonks. Think of it as one of
those best kept secret kind of things. Except that if it rang a bell
the secret wasn't necessarily kept that well.
Anyway, it’s a
classic side-scrolling shmup. Remember R-Type? Gradius?
IF NO THEN GOTO PSN THEN BUY.
IF YES THEN GOTO PSN
Basically, what we’ll call X2 from hereon in for ease
of typingness takes numerous cues from those defining moments in
arcade shmupitude and adds a little heart. Not literally, rather you
have a certain amount of life force (heh) that depletes when hit,
rather than suffering the ignominy of instant death.
well, although it makes it easy to romp through the first five
levels of seven in the main game. What adds quite some difficulty is
the need to collect blobby yellow keys to unlock the last two
levels. Which aren’t actually the last two levels, as you have to
buy the actual last three levels separately. That’s a tad dubious.
What adds even more difficulty is numerous challenges. These take
the meaning of that particular word when it’s referring to testing
one’s abilities most literally, and can be insanely frustrating. As
can seemingly blitzing a level only to receive the type of mark
that’d have Lisa Simpson jumping in front of the Springfield
Elementary bus. Whoa!
Ultimately though, X2 gives
damned fine pew. Sit on that!