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POSTED 2/11/11
SONIC GENERATIONS
SEGA
PS3 (also on Xbox 360, 3DS)
Sonic
was such a promising lad – assuming a young hedgehog can be referred
to as “lad.” Wonderful game after wonderful game of hyperspeedy
platformy yayness, with dabbles in pinball and 3D. But then puberty
hit...
Yep, the little fucker underwent that shoomgasm of adolescent
testosterone, surlily ditched the Mega Drive and went off the rails
quicker than a jelly minecart. Craptacular game after craptacular
game ensued; redemption only came towards adulthood with
downloadable throwbacks and a
magnificent ripof...
erm, ‘homage’, to Mario Kart.
He’s just turned 20, and Sonic Generations milestones it up
in style, saluting fans with more woo than poo. It starts picnic
partyishly with Sonic’s hangers-on gaily scarfing hotdogs, until
blotevolent Time Eater casts rather a gloom over proceedings,
blatting holes in time – let’s call them ‘time holes’ - and sucking
Sonic’s entourage into them. Sigh, no rest for the indigo! El
Spikerino (Sonic’s Portuguese moniker, trust us) shooms into a
blanched advertisement for a
KLF album to go rescuetational. Again.
Cue a race through Sonics’ history – and that apostrophe isn’t
misplaced. Old school stumpy-legged kiddywink and wayward lanky
adolescent are in the same time space continuum thingy, so they
Sonic team... Subsequently, several familiar worlds appear for
tackling in 2.5D, then 3D, to free yo’ peeps. Winning unlocks
challenges, and they’re aptly named – many being bastardly, well,
challenging. Complete some to unlock incidentals and, crucially,
keys to boss argy-bargies. Serious boss argy-bargies. Goo-goo-ga-oh-jebus!
Generations is mostly ace, but eventually creeps too close to
recent, forgettable history for comfiness. It also has trouble
keeping up with its star sometimes, meaning blurry-jumpy-screen
blahs that may induce Nurofen cravings. It’s the best Hedgehoggy
experience in yonks though, and packs a replayability wallop – if
you’re OCD-esque.
20 years is a milestone worth celebrating, and diehards will squeak
with delight tackling Generations... until Sonic’s voice
breaks.
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CLICK
THIS!
CLICK
THIS!
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