POSTED 29/11/11


SPIDER-MAN: EDGE OF TIME

Activision
PS3 (also on Xbox 360, Wii, DS, 3DS)

Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig, does whatever a spider-pig does. Can he swing, from a web? No he can’t, he’s a pig, Look out! He is a spider-pig.

Why’ve we gone all Homer on you? It’s a buttering-up ploy. Make you feel cheery before pounding you with unfortunate news. Spider-Man: Edge of Time is a tad smelly.

Crawl. Crawl-crawl. Crawl-crawl-crawly-crawl. Get used to it, for you’ll be doing a lot of it. Basically, two Spideys team up to save each other and their times, for evil future science-dude Walker Sloan (voiced by real genius Val Kilmer) has done a Biff in Back to the Future II thing and broken how past shit should be. No more Daily Bugle, as Alchemax, Sloan’s future conglomeration that he’s backdated, pretty much rules the roost. Think Apple, but more nefarious...

Honestly, it can be confusing. If Peter Parker picks a peck of pickled pushing up daisies, then Miguel ‘why so serious?’ O’Hara – 2099’s Spidey - carks it. We think.

We do know there’s lotsa in-Alchemax fightin’ going down within two times, and it’s pretty banal, mashable and repetitetitetitetitive. You’ve a handful of gradually upgradeable moves – 2099’s dash-leaving-decoys-in-your-wake is kinda cool, as is PP’s hyperspeed - as you basically crawl, confront guards, get through a door then repeat, but in a tag team style with occasional boss battles. There isn’t a hell of a lot to do web swingy-wise (Hello? McSpider?!), as it’s all pretty much automated and inside claustrophobic confines. Let the console play all the fun bits, cheers then.

After the quite funky Shattered Dimensions, also from developers Beenox, we’re left befuddled, as they’ve somehow managed to regress. Maybe with all this time travelling shit they actually fucked up the space-time continuum and cobbled this together before Shattered Dimensions? Damn! Where’s Doc Brown when we need him?!

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