STAR FOX 64 3D
bloody nag-nag-nag. “I could use some help here Fox”, “Back off
Fox”, “Fox get this guy off me”, “Try a somersault”, “Do a barrel
roll”… Apparently passive aggressive shit’s what you get when your
esteemed vulpesness Fox McCloud teams with a bird, hare and toad
when you’d usually just eat them, burp and leave.
Yes, these three creatures are your anthromorphs-in-arms as
mercenary collective ‘Star Fox’, starfighters extraordinaire (well,
you are, the others are passengers), assailing the decidedly evil
Andross for something. Erm, (rustle, rustle), ah yes, he nearly
destroyed the Lylat system. That would have cast rather a gloom over
the galaxy, wouldn’t it?
Aussies finding this vaguely familiar-sounding aren’t nuts. Once
unable to be called Star Fox as some game everybody’s
forgotten used it first, SNES peeps knew it as Starwing, and
N64ers Lylat Wars. The latter’s what we get here, but
juiced-up, 3D-inated and with spiffy download play options. Grab
pals (preferably not amphibious, rabbitational or a dead Austrian
singer) and you can even have your mugs onscreen so you know who
you’re shooting. BWAHAHA!
Still confuddled? Sheesh! Star Fox is basically a space opera
shooter. It may look complicated, but really it’s just
After Burner gussied
up – and that’s OK by us. The gladrags are Thunderbirdsy
cheese (stringy, obviously…) T-boning Star Wars, with Top
Gun steroidy heroics plopped on top. It’s played out seriously,
but the tidal wave of dialogue will have you snickering, which can
frustrate – especially with the 3DS’ motion controls turned on, as
you’ll likely bounce into something ouchy.
It’s not entirely on-rails though, as occasionally you’re let loose
in free-roam bits to crushkilldestroy bosses. MMMmmm...
All the aceness of the original returns, amped – well, save for the
‘Rumble Pak’ which just don’t fit. Ooh, rock me Foxy Mc-Cloud...