POSTED 7/10/11


STAR FOX 64 3D

Nintendo
3DS

Nag bloody nag-nag-nag. “I could use some help here Fox”, “Back off Fox”, “Fox get this guy off me”, “Try a somersault”, “Do a barrel roll”… Apparently passive aggressive shit’s what you get when your esteemed vulpesness Fox McCloud teams with a bird, hare and toad when you’d usually just eat them, burp and leave.

Yes, these three creatures are your anthromorphs-in-arms as mercenary collective ‘Star Fox’, starfighters extraordinaire (well, you are, the others are passengers), assailing the decidedly evil Andross for something. Erm, (rustle, rustle), ah yes, he nearly destroyed the Lylat system. That would have cast rather a gloom over the galaxy, wouldn’t it?

Aussies finding this vaguely familiar-sounding aren’t nuts. Once unable to be called Star Fox as some game everybody’s forgotten used it first, SNES peeps knew it as Starwing, and N64ers Lylat Wars. The latter’s what we get here, but juiced-up, 3D-inated and with spiffy download play options. Grab pals (preferably not amphibious, rabbitational or a dead Austrian singer) and you can even have your mugs onscreen so you know who you’re shooting. BWAHAHA!

Still confuddled? Sheesh! Star Fox is basically a space opera shooter. It may look complicated, but really it’s just After Burner gussied up – and that’s OK by us. The gladrags are Thunderbirdsy cheese (stringy, obviously…) T-boning Star Wars, with Top Gun steroidy heroics plopped on top. It’s played out seriously, but the tidal wave of dialogue will have you snickering, which can frustrate – especially with the 3DS’ motion controls turned on, as you’ll likely bounce into something ouchy.

It’s not entirely on-rails though, as occasionally you’re let loose in free-roam bits to crushkilldestroy bosses. MMMmmm... Lost-in-Spacey!

All the aceness of the original returns, amped – well, save for the ‘Rumble Pak’ which just don’t fit. Ooh, rock me Foxy Mc-Cloud...

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