POSTED 30/4/11


SUPER MEAT BOY

Team Meat
Xbox 360/XBLA (also on PC)

We were raised under near order of death not to play with our food so, much like BurgerTime, Super Meat Boy has us thrashing about somewhat helplessly in Quandaryland.

For you're a piece of meat... and so’s the character you control in SMB (BAM!). Looking very much like Roger Hargreaves’ Mr Strong sans perky hat, he’s an anthropomorphised cube of red meat out to save his beloved Bandage Girl from the clutches of the rather nasty – apparently - Dr Foetus.

Yep, if you hadn’t guessed, it’s an indie game. We came to it rather late, so its reputation as a primo example of aceitude when it comes to 2D platforming preceded it. But we’ll be fucked really hard if we know why (oh well, nice to get some – rough or otherwise - after somewhat of a drought, we guess).

Super Meat Boy could easily be a C64 or Spectrum game for all its lack of smooth. Sure, it packs a fuckload of levels and arsingly hard boss battles, but it artificially prolongs its life via bullshit difficulty. Cubular you must traverse from A to B without being sliced, diced, mushed, crushed or otherwise killeded – not an easy prospect when essentially everything in every level murders you if grazed, sending you back to the start.

As such, SMB wants you to just plod on relentlessly, carking it repeatedly as you attempt to bludgeon your way to the end just to do it all over again on the ensuing level. It’s for masochists by sadists – a perfect match, we guess, if you’re inclined towards the former paraphilia.

But we’re not. Pretty cutscenes may indeed be pretty; however they can’t mask the limitations of SMB that we seem to be pretty much alone in spotting. Meh, pariahs again. Cue splatty rotten shit...

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CLICK THIS!