Xbox 360/XBLA (also on PS3/PSN)
morons. That’s how the stars of this show are billed, and we reckon
we can relate on two out of three counts. We were still kinda
pinkish the last we checked.
A 2D-and-a-bit side-scrolling thingummy, Swarm has you
controlling a horde of up to 50 ‘swarmites’ – those aforementioned
pudgy blue morons. You tell them what to do – no matter how insane
or potentially death-inducing - and they do it, no questions asked.
Think of them as your own little horde of azure-tinged office
workers, while you’re the useless fucking prick ‘manager’ raking in
six to seven figures whilst screwing over your hapless minions...
the people that actually accomplish stuff.
Maintaining control over such a gaggle has its challenges. You can
rein them in, but that slows them down. You can let them hang loose,
but you’ll generally lose some to any of numerous pitfalls (heh)
along their journeys from left to right.
You can stack them Hop on Pop style, make them head butt stuff,
jump or undertake suicide missions for the greater good. Just like
those poor fucking sod office workers they’re plentiful and there’s
usually a replenishment point or two to get your quota boofinated
again. Hell, there are even awards given out for different forms of
death – definitely management minds at work behind this one; or poor
cube drones who’ve had an absolute gutful of being treated like
shitballs and are about to go all Network…
With 12 levels, several collectibles to return for ’cos you’ll
likely miss them all the first time, some pleasingly original
gameplay and much visual prettiness, Swarm’s got lots going
for it... if you can cope with the genocide.
Somehow we think those tuntcard bosses take a different spin on
Billy Bragg’s cry “up the workers”...