POSTED 4/4/11


SWARM

Hothead Games
Xbox 360/XBLA (also on PS3/PSN)

Pudgy blue morons. That’s how the stars of this show are billed, and we reckon we can relate on two out of three counts. We were still kinda pinkish the last we checked.

A 2D-and-a-bit side-scrolling thingummy, Swarm has you controlling a horde of up to 50 ‘swarmites’ – those aforementioned pudgy blue morons. You tell them what to do – no matter how insane or potentially death-inducing - and they do it, no questions asked. Think of them as your own little horde of azure-tinged office workers, while you’re the useless fucking prick ‘manager’ raking in six to seven figures whilst screwing over your hapless minions... the people that actually accomplish stuff.
 
Ahem.

Maintaining control over such a gaggle has its challenges. You can rein them in, but that slows them down. You can let them hang loose, but you’ll generally lose some to any of numerous pitfalls (heh) along their journeys from left to right.

You can stack them Hop on Pop style, make them head butt stuff, jump or undertake suicide missions for the greater good. Just like those poor fucking sod office workers they’re plentiful and there’s usually a replenishment point or two to get your quota boofinated again. Hell, there are even awards given out for different forms of death – definitely management minds at work behind this one; or poor cube drones who’ve had an absolute gutful of being treated like shitballs and are about to go all Network…
 
With 12 levels, several collectibles to return for ’cos you’ll likely miss them all the first time, some pleasingly original gameplay and much visual prettiness, Swarm’s got lots going for it... if you can cope with the genocide.

Somehow we think those tuntcard bosses take a different spin on Billy Bragg’s cry “up the workers”...

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