POSTED 15/1/11


TETRIS

EA
PS3/PSN

Aww c’mon, it’s Tetris! If we had a buck for every time we’ve reviewed it we’d have – umm - about six bucks. Even our Mum knows what it is!

Yep, it’s the block manipulation game with more pulling power than Christina Hendricks naked on a V8 tractor. You likely know the story – clever-clogs Russian geek Alexey Pajitnov creates Tetris around 1985, it goes supernova and makes shitloads of rubles, the Russian government goes ‘kerchingski!” and Alexey remains in relative squalor. Well, until he moved to the US and a gig at Microsoft. We hope he’s now rolling in cashola and nubile women with all the vodka he can eat.

But we digress.

Right. This Tetris is basically the ‘Minis’ version for PS3/PSP given the HD treatment (that’s ‘High-Def’, not ‘Häagen-Dasz’, although ice cream’s possibly the only remaining Tetris-free format), with 5.1 sound, online multiplayer and a handful of pissy trophies mostly requiring online play. If you’re thinking “big fucking deal” well, we hear ya.

The graphics? Snazzy, yeah, but the game plays just the same as on the least res-tastic thing we can think of that the game ever graced, the Commodore 64. The audio? Wow! Our ‘tetrimino’ dropped in surround! OK, some’ll dig the online multiplayer, however it’s clunkily implemented with the need to log into an EA account every time you load the game. There are 12 slight variations on the original – as in the Minis release – but none pack anywhere near the punch that the classic game has in ‘I am the greatest’ style scads.

It’s hard to break Tetris, and this isn’t broken, just expensive for what it is. If – and only if - you are the person with no other Tetris in their life then this is a necessity. Otherwise, mehski.

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