TETRIS PARTY DELUXE
Wii (also on DS)
Noooooooooooo! It’s happening again! We see square people – and
square every-bloody-thing else for that matter.
When Senor Mendoza declared that his diabolical creation ‘Swank’ was
ten times more addictive than marijuana – right before McBain defied
scale and burst forth from an ice sculpture - Tetris just
Well, it would have if it could talk.
Instead we like to imagine its genius creator, Alexey Pajitnov,
letting forth the same monosyllabic expression of “whatever” with a
wry grin, vodka-drenched breath and a gravelly Russian accent. He
has the right – he was the originator, the instigator, the
firestarter even of the… Most. Addictive. Game. Ever.
So, why yet another version, especially when there’s a more than
serviceable WiiWare Tetris Party? Single player options,
comrades. There’s the super-flying-fun-awesome original mix, several
variants involving helping little dudes get to the top of the screen
(how anti-Tetris is that?!), a remix with bombs, you-versus-Wii,
a Picross-tinged thing where you drop bits to match a
picture, a line-clearing race, insanity-inducing ‘Master Mode’ (no
time to think!) and a woeful throwback to ’70s arcade ‘car’ games
where you guide a Tetrimino through a tunnel.
Otherwise, all the multiplayer fun’s here too, whereby up to four
players can compete in much the same events, locally or online.
Ultimately, the original Tetris is still the best – no matter
how many balance board, Wii Speak and other peripherals you hurl at
it (although Power Glove might have rocked). Multiplayer adds group
spark – hence the ‘Party’ in the title - but to us Tetris
feels best as a handheld, more personal experience (the DS version
of this rocks, and also has mucho multiplayer support if it’s your
All this try-hardingness, it’s silly. Tetris, you had us at