THE SIMS 3
3DS (also on PS3, Xbox 360, Wii, DS, PC, Mac)
Is life getting
you down? Just can’t be arsed anymore? Well buck up little camper,
things could be worse. You could be somebody’s digital meat puppet.
Which is what ‘Sims’ are – if you’re the person who’s been so snugly
ensconced beneath a boulder long enough to have absolutely zilcho
knowledge of the world-conquering franchise. Little people
facsimiles that you create – in your image (literally, as you can
snap your own fizzog – beware though, fragile egos may crumble),
what you wish was your image (hmm, I think I’ll go for the pixelated
look today), or just whatever - then set about controlling the lives
of, be they clever sims or dim sims... BWAHAHA!
Even though this 3DS version’s a somewhat simplifamacated representation
of the whole Sims shebang, it still offers plenty to get
puppetmastertational with. You’re completely responsible for every
infinitesimal thing your Sim does, from the banal like eating,
drinking and taking care of by-products thereof, to the funnerer
such as bopping to squonky music, shopping or cracking onto anybody
who crosses your path.
Moods, karma and other hippy shit comes into play, as you toddle
about your Ikea-like world of boxy abodes and cheapo flat-packed
furniture. Plus, you’re alone baby. You’ve one save slot, so use it
wisely as you blunder through your alterna-life solo. Well, unless
you refer back to our cracking onto anything that moves philosophy
proffered earlier, natch.
As’80s kids we loved Little Computer People, which was
essentially a super-simplified precursor to The Sims. But it
was fun. We’re older and pessimisticer (not to mention illiterater)
now, so handling our own life’s crap is enough without being
responsible for somebody else’s. Still, if you dig escaping reality
and can happily eschew verisimilitudinousness, then The Sims 3
just may be your own portable nirvana.