Must... exercise... constraint. Must... not... bend... to... oh-so-tempty...
Please excuse our textual constipation, but when you name a game
like this, and those with puerile minds like us encounter it, well
it has the potential for explosive verbal... NO!
The Splatters (snicker!) are a squat team of goofy grinning
gloop globs. In reality crack bomb disposal experts, they’re posing
as a troupe of highly-skilled acrobats, whose only wish is to go out
in style. This involves flinging them at all manner of
loop-the-loops, spikes and other bits and bobs in the name of being
spectacular – and eliminating those nasty-pastie, party-pooping
bombs, natch. These guys are seemingly filled with some form of
bomb-dissolving acid, and you have to kersplot them in such a way
that they plop onto their targets. Otherwise, their deaths are in
vain, and do you really want that clogging your conscience?
You prove yourself in the many levels of ‘Become a Talent’, learning
the ropes and slopes, acquiring new stunts and chaining them
together to score mucho big pointy-points. Get enough runs on the
board here and two new
options open up; ‘Combo Nation’, requiring mastery of the obvious
considering the title, and ‘Master Shots’, where you’re tasked with
pushing out certain tricks from your repertoire by request.
Presentation’s slick, with worldwide scoreboards, and ‘Splatter TV’
allowing clip sharing of all your masterful movements – or pooey
The challenge curve’s nicely balanced, although sometimes you’ll
have absolutely NFI what you did to make it through – and sometimes
NFI why you didn’t, as one pissy bomb might refuse to explodinate
despite appearing to glub gloriously in kamikaze glob gloop. Stoo-
erm, still, despite regular frustration we kept straining away
determined to squeeze out a win, making The Splatters
(titter!) well-balanced – or us just plain anal.
AGH! Can’t… hold... it... in... any... longer. It’s Angry Turds!