TIME CRISIS: RAZING STORM
Had a bad day? Then why not kill something? It’s still the best
known way to cure bloodlust.
Yep, and if you’re looking for a good way to kill shit without all
that pesky police, court system then prison business, Time Crisis
Razing Storm may be your go. You get to blow away anything that
moves, but the only things that die are pixels; LOTS of pixels.
For the unfamiliar, Time Crisis is an enduring arcade series
where the machine has a light-gun bolted on, you aim it at the
screen and blam baddies into the afterlife. The Move now acts as
your gun. It’s not as “oozee-nyyn-mylla-mee-terr” as the arcade
weapon, or the also-compatible tastefully lollipop-lady orange
GunCon (with mandatory bondage gear for your teev), but it works
Home arcade conversions used to be pale imitations at best, but
we’ve come a long way, baby. Here we basically get the Razing
Storm arcade machine, without the coinage-gobbling. There’s some
story about taking out a military force that’s declared war on the
USA, but whatever. Just hop on the ride, and if it moves shoot it
with whatever weapon – machine gun, rocket launcher etc - you’re
currently toting. Want deeper? There’s an adventure mode included,
but it reeks.
To further satiate any murderous desires, the original PS3 Time
Crisis 4 (with added trophies and online), plus the wonderful
ARRH-inspiring zombie buccaneer mayhem of Deadstorm Pirates,
are included. They may all essentially be the same game, but if you
just want some mindless blam then you have options.
Arcade games aren’t built to deliver lasting experiences; they’re
intended for short bursts of adrenaline-fuelled fun. Time Crisis
Razing Storm isn’t rocket science – it’s rocket veggie maths -
but we ain’t whinin’.