Pain, will you return it? We’ll say it again, pain.
exist to provide pure fun. Some up the ante challenge-wise,
rewarding a little skill with fun. Others like to make you feel like
you’re a positively putrescent portion of ineptitude-exuding pus
unworthy of breathing.
Trials Fusion manages to
pinball between all these extremes, and we love it. The fucking
essentially all about physics, but apples don’t get a look in.
You’re plonked onto a trail bike (or, later, a quad bike). You’re
tasked with going that way, really, erm, carefully, traversing all
manner of insane ramps, jumps, loop-the-loops and much more with the
sole aim of not falling down and subsequently hurting. Hey, it’s
simple right? One button speeds up, another slows down, you can lean
forwards or you can lean backwards.
fools! The merest poofteenth of twitchiness can mean the difference
between feeling ace and scraping face.
Still, things start out
simply, and your hand’s held by a pair of increasingly annoying
commentatory types. They can be turned off, thank fuck. Difficulty
soon arcs though, perhaps a tad too quickly from spirited ride to
frustratingly died. Try not to have another go though, even if your
DualShock’s in tatters. Go on, we dare you! Thankfully restarting’s
Fusion – a future-based evolution of previous
including, aptly, Evolution - is more than a solo pursuit. You’re
constantly reminded of friends’ progress (when the servers aren’t
shitting themselves), and that urge to beat them requires a word
stronger than ‘strong’. There’s local or online multiplayer, oodles
of funky gear to unlock, abject silliness, a full-on track editor
(which requires more patience than the actual game), stuntpersonship
and, naturally, squirrels!
We’re confident when saying that
you’ll never experience such an extreme gamut of emotions trying to
get the balance right. We won’t say it again...