POSTED 9/11/11


UNCHARTED 3: DRAKE'S DECEPTION

Sony

Three guys walk into a bar; one coulrophobic, one claustrophobic and one, erm, non-capnophobic...
 
Yep, Nathan Fillion’s back, along with Jason Statham and his big blue pal from Monsters Inc, Sully. They’ll meet other peeps on this latest treasure-hunting escapade, both old friends and old fiends. Of the latter, Pierce Brosnan and Helen Mirren appear to be doing much of the plotty-plotty-plotting. Plus, there could even be zombies, Sackboys, pirates, ninjas or cowboys.

Why the fuck are we sounding vaguer than a wide awake Ozzy Osbourne? Well, we promised no story spoilers. So, we can’t tell you why Nate and Sully [REDACTED], or how when [REDACTED] appears they [REDACTED]. We can’t tell you diddly. Or squat. Just like eating carrots, it’s for your own good.

Oh alright, we’ll tell you it begins with a bar brawl. Hardly a dangly train near-death experience like in Among Thieves, but don’t panic, much exhilarating actiontasticness awaits.

Anybody familiar with the last instalment will feel comfy, despite some tweaks. Fisticuffs are improved, and wait ’til you encounter a ‘brute’. Gunplay’s changed, not necessarily for the better as it’s still bitchfuckgrumpfargh-inducing aiming whilst the baddies gunning for you have Terminator-like accuracy. Meanwhile, puzzles can still utterly confound, and the camera will often have you hurling DualShocks with GRRRRR abandon.

Visually? Wow. No sham, just wow. Again the voice acting demonstrates how it’s done, whilst the story contains nary a dull moment. Multiplayer ditches story; you may enjoy, you may not.

As is the Uncharted way, Drake’s Deception is a rollicking, quip-laden matinee movie that you can interact with when it sees fit. It’ll never allow you to veer off the course it wants you on, and if that shits you then you’d best steer clear. It’d be a shame though, as this is one hell of a [REDACTED].

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