everything seems under control, you’re just not going fast enough.”
Legendary world champion racing driver Mario Andretti said that.
He was, of course, talking about this space shooty/dodgy thing
called Velocity Ultra. He had a really early copy that fell
through a wormhole so that it existed before the actual Vita did.
Fuck that guy was good!
A ‘director’s cut’ of the really
rather fabulous minis release, the Futurlab boffins have tweaked
everything tweakable without breaking anything that was just fine
how it was thankyouverymuch.
But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. For
the uninitiated, we’re talking a classically-styled space arcade
romp that feels comfy and familiar like favourite socks, and also
new, challenging and heartbeat-thumping enough to keep the people
who peddle blood pressure meds swimming in Porsches. That’s a
difficult thing to pull off. You go upwards really fast, ducking,
weaving, shooting, bombing, teleporting, rescuing survivors (not of
the “reality” TV variety, thank fuck), pushing the screen quicker
and quicker, marvelling at the soundtrack and breaking more glass
than Hazel O’Connor ever managed – much to her chagrin. You’ll also
puzzle a bit, sweat, stress, and blow up lots.
gently amping difficulty curve, new bits and bobs ease into play
gradually as you shoom about in your intricately capable Quarp Jet.
Stick around for a while and you’ll still sometimes be overwhelmed.
But just try not replaying and beating that fothermucking level that
just done did deaden you.
As intimated, the trip to Vita sees
several improvements. The graphics go for a funky comic vibe
complete with added dazzle shippy effects, there’re online high
scores and also trophies – including a platinum-num-num. There are
also oodles of in-game awards, bonus levels and even a fricking
If you’ve ever enjoyed a classic arcade blast
then get this and hold on tight. To quote another Mario, “Wahoo!”