VIRTUA TENNIS 4
UNGHHHHH!!! Enough with the fucking grunting! Damn, we’d hate to
hear you whiny bitches in labour...
Ahem. The latest incarnation of arcade smasheroonie Virtua Tennis is
here. Cause for yays, or been there, done that, shagged it and sent
OK, to be slightly more informationally forthcoming, there’s good,
and not so. Like it or not, VT4’s in a turf war with
Top Spin 4, which sure ain’t slouchy with tennis for spuds
de couchy. It takes
racquet versus fuzzy ball seriously, and is smashing
(hey, we’re only getting started...)
However, those with more of an arcade leaning dig the VT, and the
last one, VT2009, was ace (told you). So, what was left to improve?
Well, dismissing gimmicks – 3D (meh), Move support (funnish in an
incontrollable kinda way) and roster changes (it’s a pretty sad
indictment on Aussie tennis that no current players are seedy enough
to make it) - not much. The last one basically nailed the desired
blend of arcadiness and ooh!-ooh!-gotsta-play-it-again-I-doesness, so
was always gonna be hard to follow.
Yet devs Sumo Digital were booted, with arcade originators AM3
cutting in. We’re not sure why, for the latter’s complicated career
mode frustratingly, going all kinda Ludo does RPG and AI is often
more AS (Artificial Stupidity). Character creation still results in
ugly people no matter what, and cutscenes mid-play upon pulling-off something funky’s really bloody
Even the VT jewel – crazy-arse minigames - left us rather fnuh.
Maybe it don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that pirate schwing, but
the selection here didn’t grab like the 2009 mix. Bowling, soccer,
target practice – not enough batshit craziness to honour tradition.
Don’t get us wrong, Virtua Tennis 4 is good, but just no improvement
on VT2009. We’re not quite feeling the lob...