WHEN VIKINGS ATTACK!
an attack is over, and the all-clear has been sounded, arrangements
will be made as soon as possible to treat any people who are ill or
Good, ’cos casualties will be numerous – and fun!
Imagine Smash TV set in England, populated by everyday
people... and Vikings! What if they had no boomsticks for
bang-bang-shoot-shooting? All’s good, they can just chuck shit at
each other. Not literally (eww!), rather most anything not bolted
down like cars and phone boxes can be grabbed by your angry mob and
hurled at hordes of agitated Norsemen, who are returning fire.
But there’s a tad more strategy to it. You gather likeminded,
civic-minded citizens as you toss away merrily over 15 levels from
farm to Viking Island. The more chums, the heavier stuff you can
lift and propel horned-hatwards. Some people may make you stronger,
run faster or aim better. Others are just special cases to nurse to
the end so as to collect a swap card. Lose all your peeps and it’s
There’s some rudimentary puzzling, but essentially the above
description’s it. It’s simpler than a one-piece jigsaw, and
by-golly-by-gum it’s really bloody ace – mostly.
You can play solo, but we wonder whether it was even tested, as it’s
alarmingly unbalanced and beyond chaotic at times. We grinded to the
end – a disappointingly piss-awful, zero-payoff one - but the key to
engageitude is getting another one to three players joining in. This
works locally or online, so even if everybody hates you somebody in
Internetland might still be your special Viking-smushing friend.
Oh, we must mention the fab inbetweeny movies emulating
the UK’s infamous ‘Protect & Survive’ instructional videos
(think THAT voice in Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s ‘Two Tribes’), with
cutesy characters not a million miles removed from rabbid bug-eyed
bewilderment. Now we have.
Ow! Ow Ow! Stop hitting us!