pointy racer, pointy pointy. Outpoint our foes, outpointy-pointy...
We still remember firing up Wipeout for the first time on the
original PlayStation and being transported into wow-ee shoom-shoom
nirvana. There was something about its combination of hardcore
racing, slick graphics and ‘bangin’ choons’ that just gelled.
Compared to this Vita launch remix, admittedly many years on, that
original Wipeout was poo.
All the core aceness remains. Race that way really fast, if
something gets in your way turn – be it with the analogue stick or
via airbrakes if the situation’s a bit more necessitous. Collect
power-ups both defensive and offensive (they smell funky), deploy
them as damageously as possible, win the race/time trial/combat and
then gloat, all accompanied by a relentless doof-infused soundtrack
boasting the likes of the Chemical Brothers, Deadmau5, FSOL,
Orbital, The Prodge, Underworld and Kraftwerk. Yep, those wacky
German pioneering electropop funsters Kraftwerk, who are the
operators of their pocket calculators.
There’s a substantial solo campaign on offer, plus various online
options as well. Probably the most ‘look at moi!’ feature though is
the cross-platform crosspollination thing that allows Vita players
to race against PS3 Wipeout HD owners. Noice!
On the downside, load times border on ludicrous, whilst attempts at
utilising Vita’s whizz-bang controls like motion sensing and the
touchy-feely screen are failtacular when compared to classic stick
wiggling with button stabbingness.
Proving the analogy, “Wheels? Where we’re going we don’t need
wheels”, which didn’t exist until we just typed it but obviously
owes somewhat of a debt to some old doctor or other, Wipeout 2048
delivers near-perfect and incredibly exciting racing via vehicles
that float in space. So what if they’re not cars? This is the
future, people, plus they’re speedier than a box full of Concordes
and almost as pointy pointy. Get this!