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POSTED
29/11/14
ZEN PINBALL 2: SOUTH PARK
Zen Studios
Balls.
Be they the chocolate salty variety or the, erm,
grotesquely overinflated kind, South Park is no stranger to
them. There was a real pinball machine based on the most
consistently magnificent TV show of the last almost 20 years, too.
This isn’t that.
Instead, the Zen wizards have gone their own
way, with not one, not three, but two original tables in one cool
package.
First up’s Super Sweet Pinball. It’s aptly
named. Centring on Stan, Kyle, Kenny and fat-ass shitball Cartman,
you can name most anything ace from South Park ever (except
Robert Smith and Mecha-Streisand) and it’s here somewhere. Well,
probably. From Chef to plenty of Randy, seasonal visitor Mr Hankey
to Timmy, Cheesy Poofs to Polly Prissypants, Terrance and Phillip
(the monkey claw is smelly!) to ManBearPig, not only do they pop up,
there are also lines aplenty. You will laugh. You will lose your
balls.
The second table? Butters! Yes he’s here in his
Very Own Pinball Game (capitalised as, well gee fellas, that’s
what it’s called). Featuring a few more traditional pinball elements
than Zen usually go for, there’re also plenty of modes involving
everything from the Goth kids to the Meheecans and Professor Chaos
to Imaginationland, if it’s floating about inside the mind of
Butters somewhere, it’ll now be floating about your screen.
While some recurring Zen faults remain such as the near useless
table bump which, if it doesn’t immediately tilt you usually just
helps your ball down the drains that they gravitate to like
McCormacks to scotch, these are the two best sim pinball tables that
we’ve ever played – and we’ve played more than Cartman’s Mom has
had, well, you know...
Sure, the licence helps, but many good
licences have been attached to poxy games, and these aren’t poxy. If
you think otherwise then screw you guys, we’re going home.
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CLICK
THIS!
CLICK
THIS!
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