CARTOON NETWORK: BATTLE CRASHERS
Magic Pockets/Maximum Games
the Regular Amazing Adventure World Universe of Steven, Gumball,
Clarence, Uncle Grandpa Show Time!
Dagnabbit! Uncle Grandpa has
fallen asleep at the wheel of the UG-RV, and done gone plummeting
through multiple Cartoon Network dimensions, inadvertently
kidnapping several of their most popular characters. If you couldn’t
make sense of the intro, then that’s be the likes of Finn and Jake
from Adventure Time, Mortdecai and Rigby from Regular Show, Gumball
(The Amazing World of Gumball), Steven Universe from the show that
bears his name, Uncle Grandpa (from the show that bears his name –
is there an echo in here?), and Clarence (here... here.. here...
For some reason this lets loose a bunch of shard
creatures, who must be defeated to, umm, “set things right”.
don’t they get any of the shows’ writers to help with these games?
They could likely fart out a better plot while simultaneously
patting their heads and hoovering lines of coke off Walt Disney’s
corpsicle as geishas tickle their feet.
Taking inspiration from the likes of Nintendo’s
Bros, then removing all of the coolness save for the grabbing
several licences and banging them together bit, CNBC (ooh,
financialistic!) initially sounds promising.
More or less a
Fight clone for up to four players at once, it certainly looks the
part. It looks lovely. Animations are great and, yes, it looks
But as beat ’em ups go it’s like so subpar. There was
more challenge in Babysitting Mama – and more
action. With limited maps, many of which you have to
keep schlepping back to in order to unlock things, overlong levels
and rather turgid boss fights, it’s indicative of not much time or
love being expended on this release which, of course, kids will flock to.
This is SO not cool.