DANCE CENTRAL SPOTLIGHT
Happy, happy, happy. Everybody’s happy...
Yes! Ever since
Dance Central ceased
being a glint in Harmonix’s eye and became a real toy, we’ve
bemoaned the lack of song variety, for usually if it’s performed by
some inconsequential poppet who nobody will remember next week it’s
been deified, at the expense of sampling the vast history of music
that’s both danceable and not shit.
Hmm, we’ll be ordering
you to get off our lawn next...
Anyway, good news (everyone)
is that this disc-defying downloadable incarnation of
Kinect-validator DC has gone all minimalist and
experimental, with a Philip Glass – nah, we can’t keep this up.
Still, It does feature a song called ‘Happy’ – we’ll give you no
prize for guessing who it’s by.
Despite only ten songs
featuring, they’re all ultra-current. While we nanna-whine about
this, we’re sure today’s chart-worshipping bunnies will be hopping
and bopping with joy. Obviously the idea is that you buy more, more,
more songs. At least if you purchased DLC for previous DC
it’ll be free if and when it’s converted. None of the disc-based
songs are planned though – at least to our understanding - so those
fees you paid for export were a scam. Well, unless you’re still
juggling Kinects and packing 360 heat.
The story? Erm, there
isn’t one this time. There’s just dancing or exercising. It all
looks familiar, and not particularly now-gen, but there’s no denying
the power DC has of tractor-beaming even the most
ham-footed klutzes into flailing about your lounge, waving their
arms like they just don’t care (about breaking all your shit).
In new news, you collect nailed-move flashcards (what a
feeling!), and each song has eight routines to eventually not suck
DC remains the most technically proficient dance
outing for Kinect, but our annoyance at myopic music style options –
despite mucho DLC - lingers.
Because we’re crabby... Crabby,
crabby, crabby, crabby.