DEAD OR ALIVE: DIMENSIONS
Ah, the classic
brawlers. Street Fighter,
Mortal Kombat, Streets of Rage, Fatal Fury,
Double Dragon, Art of Fighting, Virtua Fighter,
Tekken, Shaq Fu (erm?) and the list goes on, naturally
including Pete Burns’ all-time fave, Dead or Alive.
Dimensions takes all the good bits of the series’ many
incarnations (well, other than volleyball), nabs 25 of its players
and puts... wait, we must address the elephant in the room. Get out,
you fat fuck! You’re squishing our – oh, the other one, the cover
‘art’. What the hell happened here? Worst. Cover. Ever. Seriously,
an outbreak of Comic Sans would improve it.
OK, pachyderm dealt with – honestly, the cover really is THAT shitty
- Dimensions is awesome with the fightingness. Perhaps
unsurprisingly, the series’ traditional 3D environs lend themselves
brilliantly to the 3DS’ big thing, and there’s really eye-popping
use of it at times. But there’s a downside, frame rate. So, turn the
3D off and everything launches into smooth-as-Barry-White 60 frames
per second glorioustasticness – ultimately preferable to the
Teenage boys will be pleased to know that the series’ pervy
mangaesque boobiness remains, with several buxom characters to
choose from – and that’s just the blokes (BAM! We’re told the veal’s
Oodles of modes include the staple (and our fave) ‘Arcade’, the
story-laden ‘Chronicle’, ‘Survival’, local wireless or internet
multiplayer and more. The 3DS’ much-touted ‘StreetPass’ feature is
implemented if you feel like letting your system throw down
likeminded fighters you might bump uglies with when PT slumming.
DOA:D is dripping with playability, and the 3DS is really
making a name as a kickarse fighting machine. Hopefully people will
look past the chunder-inducing cover to find the ripper game inside
– unless they’re Scandinavian of course, where this is apparently considered
kiddie porn. Bork?!