F1 RACE STARS
PS3 (also on Xbox 360, PC)
There’s something racing ’round inside my telly and it’s called a
Visually, Roxette could have written ‘The Look’ about
kartstravaganza F1 Race Stars, except they released that
some 23 years ago. So unless there’s some serious time-travelling
shit going down, that’s a dumb analogy. But the 11 worldwide tracks
are really, really ridiculously good-looking, with some super
Mario Kartational palette going on.
Sonically, but not hedgehogically, things rock too – with the added
benefit of no Roxette.
But gameplay... ruh-roh! Cue that Family Feud noise that
looks kinda like ‘Ba-BOW!’ when you try writing it down – or, in
this case, typing it. The problem? No drifting or jumping ability.
None. Not a sausage. Not even a snausage! Sure, you might argue that
real F1 doesn’t have drifting, unless it’s in an
circumstance, making your vehicle jump is something the FIA gave a
big bad Oprah ‘nuh-uh girlfriend’ gesture to yonks ago and yeah,
like F1 drivers have big heads. We’d counter with a statement to the
effect that real F1 also doesn’t have Truckasaurus smack-bang in the
middle of the fucking track, let alone circuits that turn sideways
in the frigging sky! As for those big heads, oops, we stuffed up
Perhaps it was licensing limitations, but it makes things boring.
Who wants a cartoon racing game that plays simulatory, braking for
corners? With scads of dragged-up
Mario Kart weaponry
hurtling about – plus irritating new stuff like personal
thunderstorms - it’s even more blah, for the slower you go, the more
flung weaponry you’ll cop from all and sundry (the new Indian
There’s also little feeling of speed, even when cranked to 3,000cc
level. This, and the nonexistent skiddability that we’ve already
whined about, cripple F1 Race Stars. Hey Codies! Re-skin
this as DiRT Race Stars and let the people embrace the
skiddiness. Ken Block won’t have a problem with a big head, right?