HOLE IN THE WALL
Tetris! We’re guessing that was
the beginning, middle and end of the pitch for the nutty TV show
this nutty videogame is based on which, unsurprisingly, began life
Still, by their standards it’s relatively sane. No dangling
marshmallows, no raw meat, no implements of rubberised torture and
no skewering of the nether regions (unless you’re completely unco).
Instead, a simulated styrofoam wall trundles towards you with a
shape cut out. You stand in front of your Kinect and imitate that
shape so as to fit through the titular hole, otherwise you’re pushed
backwards one spot. Fuck up three shapes and you’ll go sploosh into
a rather slimy looking pool (slimy pool sold separately). Unless you
play ‘Quick Survival’, in which case one flub and you glub.
Yep, the advantage here is that you don’t make a dick of yourself in
front of a TV audience of millions... erm, hundreds of thousands...
uh, hundreds? Well, however many people consider this worth tuning
into on the teev, plus you don’t get slimy pooled for real (unless
you’re a prick and install one) and there’s no Jules Lund (unless
you’re a really turdulent prick and invite him over).
It’s all a bit sloppy – the interface and notably the recognition of
peopleticular shapes. We assume it was only tested with midge... erm,
dwar... umm, peeps of diminutive stature, as we’re a bit gigantic
and didn’t match too many holes, although some slack’s given.
Multiplayer – up to four suckers - can get confuddling, although
down a few bevvies and it can be a cack.
Oh yeah, your avatar is smooshed into a skin-tight shiny unitard. It
tends to make your onscreen representative look like one of the
syllables in that garment’s name… BAM! Another home ground