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POSTED
5/11/14
THE MUPPETS MOVIE ADVENTURES
Disney/Sony
Here’s a Muppet News Flash. Dateline: Vita. A widespread outbreak of
laryngitis has rendered the Muppets speechless. When asked for
comment, Kermit the Frog stated, “
”.
What’s one of the first things you expect from a licenced
game nowadays, especially one aimed at kids? You expect the
characters to come alive. To interact with the children. This
usually involves them speaking.
Yet The Muppets Movie
Adventures, while officially licenced and all (obviously),
features no speech from any included characters. Not a “YAY!”
from Kermit, not a “Hi-YA!” from Miss Piggy, not a single
“AAAAAAAAAAH” from our favourite, Animal, or a solitary “Me!” from
Beaker. Even Camilla the Chicken doesn’t give a cluck!
It
doesn’t bode well for what else is in store.
We have to write
more, so we’ll tell you that five ‘movies’ – aka ‘levels’ - feature.
One starring Kermit, one with Piggy, one with Animal, one with Gonzo
and one with, erm, Kermit again. These variously plunder the likes
of Donkey Kong Country,
Express Raider, old school Castlevania, C64 classic
Nebulus and more. But not well.
It goes without
saying that there are plenty of collectibles, but we’ll say it
anyway. There are plenty of collectibles. Many of these require a
repeat run at the leve- oops, ‘movie’ - after extra abilities are
unlocked. Yay indeed.
Meanwhile, Vita features occasionally
feature, like screen stabs, touchpad wiggles and sliding about
solving (appropriately – kids game, remember?) basic puzzles.
Sure proceedings look the part in a slightly shiny, robotic
fashion, but finicky collision detection, annoying respawn points,
and just, well, annoying annoyingness conspire to sully what’s
already only a nominally Muppetational experience due to a lack of
Muppety humour and those beloved fuzzy folk being completely and
utterly mute.
Did somebody day “Bomb!”? Sadly this is more
Moopets than Muppets. Just say mah-na mah-nah.
  
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CLICK
THIS!
CLICK
THIS!
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