Co-ordination; you either have it, or you din;’7uyt...
Generally, we don’t. As such the likes of
Dance Central and the
super-fun regardless Just Dance
aren’t things we’ll ever master. So, “yay!” to Konami for releasing
a dance game that allows the undanciest of wretches a chance to
wiggle about and attain a score you could proudly stick under a
magnet on the fridge. Should the score be removable from your screen
and able to be physically wedged beneath something magnetised, natch.
Rhythm Natio... erm, King... uh, Heave... AGH!
Right... Looks at screen... Rhythm Nati... FUCK! OK, the
dreadfully generically titled Rhythm Party plucks a leaf from
the Elite Beat Agents’ school of beatitudinationalness,
whereby as long as you flail where you have to flail at the right
time you’ll score. Whatever paroxysmal contortions you blurt out
in-between don’t matter (although they can score bonus points).
The Kinect sucks your visage into your 360 and plops it onscreen,
combined with garish visual effects. You pick one of a paltry
handful of songs – ranging from generic J-pop through to Lady Gaga’s
ode to Madge’s ‘Express Yourself’, ‘Born This Way’ - then move.
As well as nailing beats with your hands, feet or anything else that
you can lob at an onscreen circle, there are more challenging moves
such as pauses and directional wavy kinda things. The more you
string together the more you score, and mixing it up helps – hit a
high blob with a foot for example. Remember kids, dial 000 for
emergency when in Australia...
Rhythm Party’s ace, and perfect for fun exermacising.
However, it’s a rip-off in demanding you buy more DLC that’s
incompatible with anything else to bolster its piss-poor repertoire.
These games companies need to get their shit together and develop a
portable, cross-game compatible music format, as it’s a joke buying
the same song again and again for different games. Moitgefiovcckjers.