review
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POSTED 20/2/12


RHYTHM PARTY

Konami
Xbox 360/XBLA/Kinect

Dance like a moitgefiovcckjer...

Co-ordination; you either have it, or you din;’7uyt...

Generally, we don’t. As such the likes of Dance Central and the super-fun regardless Just Dance aren’t things we’ll ever master. So, “yay!” to Konami for releasing a dance game that allows the undanciest of wretches a chance to wiggle about and attain a score you could proudly stick under a magnet on the fridge. Should the score be removable from your screen and able to be physically wedged beneath something magnetised, natch.

Rhythm Natio... erm, King... uh, Heave... AGH! Right... Looks at screen... Rhythm Nati... FUCK! OK, the dreadfully generically titled Rhythm Party plucks a leaf from the Elite Beat Agents’ school of beatitudinationalness, whereby as long as you flail where you have to flail at the right time you’ll score. Whatever paroxysmal contortions you blurt out in-between don’t matter (although they can score bonus points).

The Kinect sucks your visage into your 360 and plops it onscreen, combined with garish visual effects. You pick one of a paltry handful of songs – ranging from generic J-pop through to Lady Gaga’s ode to Madge’s ‘Express Yourself’, ‘Born This Way’ - then move.

As well as nailing beats with your hands, feet or anything else that you can lob at an onscreen circle, there are more challenging moves such as pauses and directional wavy kinda things. The more you string together the more you score, and mixing it up helps – hit a high blob with a foot for example. Remember kids, dial 000 for emergency when in Australia...

Rhythm Party’s ace, and perfect for fun exermacising. However, it’s a rip-off in demanding you buy more DLC that’s incompatible with anything else to bolster its piss-poor repertoire. These games companies need to get their shit together and develop a portable, cross-game compatible music format, as it’s a joke buying the same song again and again for different games. Moitgefiovcckjers.

take me back to the start...

 



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ALL WRITTEN CONTENT COPYRIGHT © AMY FLOWER 2008-2017. GAME IMAGES COURTESY OF RESPECTIVE GAMES COMPANIES.