POSTED 8/3/12


SHINOBIDO 2: REVENGE OF ZEN

Namco Bandai
Vita

Generally ninjas are portrayed as honourable folk, yeah? Well, not the mob who raised our protagonist for this evening, Zen. They fucked him over, but now he’s developed a predilection for vengeance... and it tastes yummy!

Is that hype machiney enough? Hmm, perhaps we should have included “In a world where...”?

Not a cross between a classic SEGA side-scrolling ninja romp and Mr Do! as we’d desperately clung to the wafer-thin hope of, Shinobido 2’s more an exercise in the general ninjaistic way of a vision softly creeping. As such you sneak about various dojos, climbing walls, doing roof skippity-jumps, silently appearing behind foes and going the slinktacular takedown. Or you clamber in like a busload of yodellers and end up hacking and slashing aimlessly at mass hordes – usually dying quicker than a whale in Japanese waters.

There’s a story, involving dead girlfriends and shuriken skills for hire, but really it makes about as much sense as a Bjork vide... erm, anything. That it plays out interminably over innumerable screens interrupting what action’s actually present is even more reason for snoredom.

Basically we’re talking bite-sized missiony things perfect for on the move gameplay, save for the fact that they get samier quicker than an Enya album.
 
Being a Vita launch title there’s touchy-feelies, although most can be disabled. Actually, some may argue that the zoomy and hooky action using the backside was born disabled. There are also multitudinous collectibles, with which you can magnanimously play swapsies with other players via Near.

Those who like a spot of strategy with their stealthy murderousness whilst singing ‘Hello darkness my old friend’ may get some kicks here, but a lack of polish – AI, looks, feel, camera, controls – do their best to needle.

Meanwhile, come on! A ninja harlequin chucking ninja balls at red monsters? Sure-fire smasheroonie...

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