POSTED 8/12/12


SPORTS CONNECTION

Ubisoft
Wii U

Listen, sport! Now we don’t mean that in a macho-posturing, you-scratched-my-bumper-bar-you-bastard kind of way, rather in more of a “Take heed, we’re talking about sporting endeavours” fashion. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh, fashion!

Yes, it’s a little known fact that it’s actually law that a new console cannot hit the shops without a sports compendium ready to rock. Strangely, despite the pack-in mega-success of Wii Sports on the Wii without a ‘U’, Nintendo seemingly couldn’t be arsed making one for this launch. But Ubisoft did – yay?

Sports Connection gathers together six endeavours that in the real world require a modicum of fitness. Well, five and golf – so that’s tennis, baseball, soccer, gridiron and karting.

First up, you need a MotionPlussed-up Wiimote, as the GamePad can’t deal alone. Second up, even if you have one its movements seem to be ignored half the time. Third up, that second point will piss you off. A lot.

Briefly summarising, for that’s what we do, tennis is simplified to basically swiping to hit the ball when it’s near. Baseball alternates between hitting (WiiMote) and pitching/fielding (GamePad) and is kinda fun. Soccer’s just like FIFA, except execrable. You’ve little control and bonus penalty shootouts are pretty boring. Speaking of pretty, karting isn’t. Either controller is wielded like a steering wheel. Both controls suck at it. Gridiron’s as inexplicable as ever to us non-American types, and it seems to expect strategies based on what the opponents are planning when you can’t actually see them. Oops. Golf’s also pretty basic, but hey, it’s the best golf currently on Wii U!

We expect simplicity in such a collection, and that’s what we get. But we also expect some atmosphere, ease of use and more fun. Diehard sports buffs will get something out of it, but dear Aunty Mavis won’t – and that was what Nintendo nailed so pinpointily with Wii Sports.

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