SAINTS ROW: GAT OUT OF HELL
would do anything for love, we’d run right into hell and back...
At this juncture it’d be dead easy for us to cut and paste a
fuckload of Meat Loaf lyrics with vague relevance to hell (and
there’re lots of ’em), but that’d be doing this standalone side
venture to Saints Row IV
a disservice. We respect the Saints too much to do that.
we’re a trifle scared of them.
Which would indicate that
we’re bonkers for, of course, the Saints are fictional. But they’re
bonkers too, so hey, maybe we’d hit it off?
Anyway, the boss
has been kidnapped by Satan for a shotgun wedding date with his
daughter, Jezebel. Being saintly Saints, Gat and Kinzie follow the
molten brick road down, down, deeper down to get their saviour on.
You meet an old acquaintance and score natty wings, then set about
doing the stuff you do in Saints games in rather fiery environs.
In a slight twist, you need to complete what are usually side
missions in order to befriend historical figures such as Shakespeare
and Blackbeard. You encounter more collectibles than are healthy,
more demonic entities than you’d likely prefer and amass more weird
‘n’ wonderful weaponry than Adam Baldwin’s ever wanked over. All, of
course, in the inimitably self-reverential and generally piss-funny
Hell (erm, yes it is), there’s even a Disneyfied
If you’re boring, you can complete the main
story in six or seven hours. But get into the spirit of things and
you’ll spend 15-20 hours completing every mission and tracking down
all collectibles. That’s not too shabby for a small bucks Saints
We could whine that it isn’t super now-gen, that
there’re glitches, clunks, frustrations and no sudden outbursts of
Mr Loaf’s seminal works like the hilarious Aerosmith assault of
But no, we won’t do that.