TOY SOLDIERS: COLD WAR
Step by step,
heart to heart, left-right-left, we all fall down like, erm,
Confession time. All we know about GI Joe is that he had a mean
kung-fu grip and funky fuzz on his cranium. The latter was learned
upon setting him up with our Barbie. Hey, the chick dug a man in
In other words, asking our thoughts on a game thatís dripping little
boy juice all over our lounge room probably isnít prudent.
Basically, TS:CW dives back to the Yanks vs Russkies í80s,
opens the toy box and lets loose with the army men and their tanks
and their bombs and their bombs and their guns in your hea... erm,
and nukes (!) and pretty much every toy of war that little boys were
programmed to desire more than education.
Itís all moulded into a Rambo-fuelled tower defence thang. Youíve
certain round bits of landscape wherein you can plop various
anti-commie weapons and go completely stragety-shooty-wahey.
Occasionally you get to reign down battery-powered hell with planes
and other voltage-hungry implements of warmongering, at which time
youíll hope youíve got the Eneloops happening as the experience can
Yep, weíve never understood the boys and war thing. So,
theoretically if we were in charge weíd likely be digging on goulash
or schnitzel or sushi or summat... Actually, we already do, so fuck
your stereotypes. Still, we reckon if you make a game thatís all
firepowertastic Ė especially one thatís basically a recreation of
kidsí imaginations at play - there shouldnít be restrictions. Ooh,
say like crazy reload times on anti-tank guns that mean those prick
bastard redses overrun your toy box.
TS:CW mixes arcade and strategy interestingly. Itíll delight
some, and frustrate others. Much like our poor, broken-hearted
Barbie when she discovered Joe had no dick.