down, turn around. Please don’t let me hit the grou- OOF!
Imagine if Ridge Racer, the
Trials series and old 16-bit fave
Car Racer (beware of spoonerisms...) hooked up, had some sort of
bizarre coding triangle and gave birth to one of the greatest arcade
racing experiences ever.
Now stop imagining and just believe,
for Trackmania Turbo is close to arcade racing perfection – even if
it isn’t a pure racer.
There are four locations -
Rollercoaster Lagoon, International Stadium, Canyon Grand Drift, and
Valley Down & Dirty – which all offer different cars and slightly
different racing/stunting disciplines. In the case of the last one,
you’ll swear at your twitch-crazy lack of control. Frequently.
Within these stadiums there are some 200 usually insane tracks,
so that’s plenty of content. This is without venturing into the
various single player modes and up to four player local
split-screen, plus online, plus the track editor which, naturally,
means mucho tracks designed by everyday schmoes like you and I.
Which also means mucho cack – but hey, content!
Much like the
first – and still by far the best - Mario Kart way back on the SNES,
in single player at least TT relies on shaving poofteenths of
seconds off laps to better your score. The better your score, the
better your medal. Unless you’ve already nabbed gold, but then...
If you’re doing crap, inspirational quotes from great minds such
as Confucius and, erm, Homer Simpson pop up to help inspire – and
possibly also to distract from the obscenely long load times between
levels. Stay put in one and you can instantly restart, leave one and
you may as well have a wee, make tea, go to sea or something else
that may or may not end in an ‘ee’ sound while you wait.
That’s all that sucks here, otherwise you shouldn’t miss this
monstrously motorgasmic temptation.