POSTED 15/9/16


NEBULOUS

Namazu Studios

It’s taken way too long, but finally John M Phillips’ genius rotating platform puzzler has made its way to the 21st century!

What’s that? O...

Yes, add a single vowel and it’s apparently OK to confuse those who appreciate classic gaming history.

Nebulous is a platform-less puzzler that doesn’t deserve to be thought of in the same bonce-bubble as the one that didn’t contain an ‘o’.

In a nicely presented space setting, you’re charged with rescuing bubble-boy astronaut Dash Johnson, over and over and fucking over again. This takes place within a box full of some manoeuvrable things, and some not manoeuvrable things, which – ooh joy - may be joined to more boxes full of stuff.
 
Many interesting and important things have been put into boxes over the years. This foul-mouthed bastard of an astronaut isn’t one of them. You’re given NFI as to what to do with the ever increasing piles of junk that you can manipulate, yet you cop an earful if you stuff up. Literally comparing the player to shit is scarcely a wise way to endear anybody to your game – actually it’s unreservedly stupid.

Nebulous is just a decidedly average melange of bits from gravity-based puzzlers the likes of Lemmings, Puddle, Mercury Hg and myriad other OK brain teasers. Plus, bonus bugs! We had one manoeuvrable thing escape its box (perhaps trying to escape the game itself?) and bam, restart. Yay.

From the outset Nebulous is a chore. Oh dear, I didn’t place that piece – via DualShock - to the precise pixel spot required. OK, I’ll move it slightly, let ragdoll Dash tumble 4 me again and see if it works this time. Hint: probably not.

After clearing the first set of levels, Dash drops a tirade that begins with, “This is no longer fun.” Dash, mate, you’re wrong. It was never fun.

Maybe Namazu will do better with their next game, Grande Theft Auto...?

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