TRANSFORMERS: RISE OF THE DARK SPARK
just a jump to the left, and then a step to the ri-ii-ii-i-i-ight...
LET’S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!
Ah, that was fun! We wish
that we could say the same for this latest Transformers game,
released to coincide with the latest Transformers movie. But we
can’t. Even though it too seems to be doing the time warp.
How so? Well, it looks kinda poxy for a now-gen game. If it looked
last-gen we’d perhaps be moderately forgiving. But it looks more
the-gen-before-the-last-gen. That wasn’t poxy at the turn of the
century, but now? Seriously?
Still, a game isn’t graphics
alone. Strong gameplay will always trump it, especially when
accompanied by an engaging story.
story, such that it is, involves an apparent intergalactic fabric
softener called the ‘Dark Spark’ (you may have gleaned that from the
game’s title). It allows the bending of time and making two worlds
collide, just like Inspiral Carpets did. In this case, Michael Bay’s
view of the Transformational world clashes with Hasbro’s. You may
wish to pack a sponge to wipe up the resultant mess.
bog standard third-person romp, with typical collectibles,
power-ups, weaponry and adversaries. OK, so at various times you can
be any of some 20-plus Autobots or Decepticons, and transform
between robotic and vehicular states at the click of L3 (which is a
really fucking stupid place to put such an easily unwanted
mechanic), but frankly – richardly and darrenly even - this
franchise deserves more, and the
games in the series were
Sure, we’re all girlie and stuff and probably don’t
get the appeal of big transmutable robots, but we do get the appeal
of engaging, playable games.
We’re putting our hands on our
hips, bringing our knees in tight and declaring that this isn’t one.