POSTED 22/7/14
 

TRANSFORMERS: RISE OF THE DARK SPARK

Activision

It’s just a jump to the left, and then a step to the ri-ii-ii-i-i-ight...

LET’S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!

Ah, that was fun! We wish that we could say the same for this latest Transformers game, released to coincide with the latest Transformers movie. But we can’t. Even though it too seems to be doing the time warp.

How so? Well, it looks kinda poxy for a now-gen game. If it looked last-gen we’d perhaps be moderately forgiving. But it looks more the-gen-before-the-last-gen. That wasn’t poxy at the turn of the century, but now? Seriously?

Still, a game isn’t graphics alone. Strong gameplay will always trump it, especially when accompanied by an engaging story.

Erm, ummmmmmm...

The story, such that it is, involves an apparent intergalactic fabric softener called the ‘Dark Spark’ (you may have gleaned that from the game’s title). It allows the bending of time and making two worlds collide, just like Inspiral Carpets did. In this case, Michael Bay’s view of the Transformational world clashes with Hasbro’s. You may wish to pack a sponge to wipe up the resultant mess.

It’s a bog standard third-person romp, with typical collectibles, power-ups, weaponry and adversaries. OK, so at various times you can be any of some 20-plus Autobots or Decepticons, and transform between robotic and vehicular states at the click of L3 (which is a really fucking stupid place to put such an easily unwanted mechanic), but frankly – richardly and darrenly even - this franchise deserves more, and the last few games in the series were better.

Sure, we’re all girlie and stuff and probably don’t get the appeal of big transmutable robots, but we do get the appeal of engaging, playable games.

We’re putting our hands on our hips, bringing our knees in tight and declaring that this isn’t one.

CLICK THIS!



CLICK THIS!